Life Abroad @ Valor ~ I Want You to Know . . .

Recently, in my daily readings I came across a most arresting statement by the Apostle Paul in his letter, written from his prison cell, to the believers in the city of Colossae. He had undertaken this letter to address his deep concern over a false teaching that was gaining a foothold among the young, naive believers that composed the Colossian church community.  He wrote:

I want you to know how great a struggle I have for you and for those at Laodicea and for all who have not seen me face to face, that their hearts may be encouraged, being knit together in love, to reach all the riches of full assurance of understanding and the knowledge of God’s mystery, which is Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. I say this in order that no one may delude you with plausible arguments. For though I am absent in body, yet I am with you in spirit, rejoicing to see your good order and the firmness of your faith in Christ. (Colossians 2:1-5)

The great Apostle Paul struggled!  In fact, the Greek word translated by the English "struggle" is literally "agony" (ἀγῶνα). Paul was in agony over his concern for those he was seeking to teach and encourage. This phrase captured by attention because I was then, and am even now, experiencing a similar deep struggle.  Some might call it another phrase my cultural readjustment, but having lived in Korea for five years previously, you might think I would have anticipated the present causes of my struggle.

Or, maybe my current struggle is more a factor of my aging.  Even Confucius had particular concerns over the challenges of each stage in life, especially when it came to that resonate energy and drive that the East observes as an element of human nature called "qi" or sometimes written "chi."  Confucius admonishes me:

"The [morally] noble man guards himself against three things. When he is young, his xue–qi has not yet stabilized, so he guards himself against sexual passion. When he reaches his prime, his xue–qi is not easily subdued, so he guards himself against combativeness. When he reaches old age, his xue–qi is already depleted, so he guards himself against acquisitiveness." (Confucius, Analects, 16:7)

I am evidently still in my prime, according to Confucius.  My current struggle stems from my impatience with my younger, less experienced and knowledgeable colleagues, and my reactions to what I perceive to be both creeping Pelagianism and imprudent actions.  My reactions have demonstrated that "not easily subdued xue-qi" that has expressed itself in combativeness and anger.  

Others might characterize my current struggle as just another expression of a lifetime of being one "who pulls against the flow" as the name given me by my father suggests. (To "cordell" a boat, as the Lewis & Clark Corp of Discovery did, means to pull the boat with ropes up the river against the flow).  In any case, the struggle is real, and my need for God's sustaining grace and merciful forgiveness is ever present.

I came here to Valor convince of God's leading through three specific objective factors: (1) I was initially introduced to Valor through my former TA and exceptional Handong student, Ms. Han, who has been working for one of the co-founders of Valor for several years.  I did not seek out the opportunity on my own, but rather, I was introduced and then subsequently invited to come. (2) My wife gave her whole-hearted support to my decision to accept this invitation. I have learned over 42 years of marriage that this confirmation is of utmost importance in discerning God's leading.

And finally, (3) a passage of Scripture that God laid upon my heart and spoke into my life with particular application to prompt me to accept this call.  That Scripture is from Paul's letter to the Philippians written during his later imprisonment in Rome.

If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell. I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain and continue with you all, for your progress and joy in the faith, so that in me you may have ample cause to glory in Christ Jesus, because of my coming to you again. (Philippians 1:22–26)

"My coming to you again" meant to me my return to Korea now to serve in my new role at Valor and to be able to both visit and encourage many whom I had the priviledge of serving and teaching while at Handong from 2009 through 2014.  

So, my struggle continues.  Even the words of the Psalmist that I read this morning seem to aptly describe yet again the context of my internal conflict ~ "My soul is in the midst of lions . . . " (Psalm 57:4a).  I struggle with both the fallenness of my flesh that contributes to this "combativeness" and with the lions of the world and the devil that constantly are on the prowl, as Peter warns us (1 Peter 5:8).

So, I seek, by God's grace, to be watchful, to be single-minded in devotion, and to be reminded that "if I stand let me stand on the promise that you will pull me through and if I can't, let me fall on the grace that first brought me to You." (Rich Mullins)  And with that gracious promise let me meet each new day's dawing . . . 

The Lord GOD has given me the tongue of those who are taught, that I may know how to sustain with a word him who is weary. Morning by morning he awakens; he awakens my ear to hear as those who are taught.  (Isaiah 50:4)