Life Abroad @ Valor ~ Our Calling . . . To Listen . . . To Change a Life

When I encounter periods of discouragement here along the path of seeking to teach the next generation the Way of Christ, I find that I receive a gift of encouragement often from the most unexpected of events.  Just this morning I was reviewing the "memories" that Facebook generates on my page and discovered this most heartening of testimonies from a student I was priviledged to teach some twenty years ago during my days on the faculty of Missouri Baptist University.

"When my wife and I lived in St. Louis, I served as a youth and music pastor at a little dying church. We loved the people of that church and they loved us as well. However, the church was struggling under the leadership of a pastor who had lost his heart for ministry. I did the best I could as a 20-something to love my pastor, and support him. To help mitigate the pastor's stress, the head of deacons and I took on extra responsibilities to try to give him margin to care for himself.

In the midst of this church, there was a lady who I will call "Mrs. Busy-body." Mrs. Busy-body believed that the head of deacons and I were trying to take over the church so we could sell the building and split the money. She believed this so fervently, she even began a phone campaign calling the ‘big tithers’ in the church and asked them to withhold their tithe so that the church would have to let me go. She did not convince anyone, but suddenly selling the church and splitting the money sounded like a good idea. Of course there was no veracity to Mrs. Busy-body's conspiracy theory. Nonetheless, this hurt my wife and me deeply. I hated Mrs. Busy-body. I felt like starting my own campaign to get her excommunicated, or at least encourage her to find another church. My wife and I were so wounded and burdened with un-forgiveness that we wondered, why are we wasting our time in church ministry? Why deal with the Mrs. Busy-bodies of the world? My wife even asked me "why don't you go get a degree in something else and forget church ministry?" I remember being very said and losing a lot of sleep.

One day, I was walking on campus, and I ran into you. You asked how I was doing. Sensing there was more to my story, you asked to sit down and hear a bit of what was going on. I shared with you some of what is above. I don't remember you giving me any particular advice, but you did ask "If I give you a book, would you read it?" A bold question to ask a full-time student who is also working full-time! I agreed. The next day I found a copy of "Life Together" by Bonhoeffer in my campus mailbox. It was the first time I had ever heard of Bonhoeffer (embarrassing, I know). I committed myself to reading it. I even wrote your email address in the back of the book so I could contact you when I finished (I just looked at the book and it was your university email).

Much of that book impacted me. But, there is one quote that cut me to the core. I had to stop and read this quote several times. The first time I read it, I didn't understand it. The second time I read it, I understood it and I was angry about what it said. The third time I read it, I realized it must be this way if the church is to be the church of Jesus Christ. This is the quote: “He who loves his dream (ideal) of a community more than the Christian community itself becomes a destroyer of the (community), even though his personal intentions may be ever so honest and earnest and sacrificial.” I realized that if I fall in love with a vision of a church that doesn't include Mrs. Busy-bodies, I don't really love the church. These are the people God has given me to love. There is no perfect church absent of busy-bodies. God's gift and desire for us is to love and serve one another even in all the mess and dysfunction. If we don't or won't, we destroy the possibility of having community. If I am going to love Jesus, then I must love His church. If I am going to love His church, then I must love Mrs. Busy-body. Mrs. Busy-body is the body of Christ. There is no one else for me to love. There is no community where I am free of her. I have to find a way to love her.

So, I did something I would have never done if I hadn't read Life Together (and I would have never read Life Together if you hadn't given it to me). I called Mrs. Busy-body on the phone. I said, "I just want you to know that I love you and that I am here for you. I am praying for you. And, as one of your pastors at this church, I am happy to serve you however I can." It was a short conversation and she thanked me for calling. And you know what happened? Nothing. She continued to believe her conspiracy theory and continued her campaign to get me fired. But, something changed in me. For the first time I realized that this is life together; this is community. It's loving all of God's people because that is exactly how he loved us. This lesson has changed the way I orient to people in ministry, the way I think about leadership in ministry, and has been a lesson I am quick to share with anyone who will listen.

Thanks for your investment in me. For the cost of a few minutes to be a listening ear and a suggested retail price of $13, you changed my life and ministry. All this regardless of the many things I learned under your teaching as well."